The Treasury is messing with the pound coin

Brits need to dig down the back of the sofa, empty out their car ashtrays and giant whisky bottles as the Treasury has decided we need a new quid.

"What so special about that?", I hear you ask. Well, the old round nugget is now going to have 12 sides to make it the (fanfare) "THE MOST SECURE COIN IN THE WORLD!!!!!!".

The new coin will be;

  • 12-sided-its distinctive shape makes it instantly recognisable, even by touch.

  • Bimetallic-it is made of two metals. The outer ring is gold coloured (nickel-brass) and the inner ring is silver coloured (nickel-plated alloy).

  • Latent image-it has an image like a hologram that changes from a '£' symbol to the number '1' when the coin is seen from different angles.

  • Micro-lettering- it has very small lettering on the lower inside rim on both sides of the coin. One pound on the obverse "heads" side and the year of production on the reverse "tails" side, for example 2016 or 2017.

  • Milled edges-it has grooves on alternate sides.

  • Hidden high security feature-a high security feature is built into the coin to protect it from counterfeiting in the future.

It even has its own website.

Shopping trolley coin mechanism and vending machine manufacturers are overjoyed, while council parking authorities are crying into their budget reports at the expected cost.

The new coin comes in in March and the old nicker will go out of service in October.

Expect an uprising at local supermarkets from the elderly and busy mothers with screaming kids who can't get the frigging trolley out with old coins after the change over.

The new quid. Drop it and won't roll down the drain as fast as it used to.

Revel in it's beauty

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